It’s difficult for Christians to think that something as noble & godly as evangelism is no different than something as sexually potent as pick-up artistry but I think it is completely obvious – and nothing to be feared.
The reality of personal connection is that they’re ALWAYS (hear me?), always infused with sexuality. Every human relationship we have has a degree of sexual tension inherent within. This doesn’t mean that we are all latent homosexuals or that you want to sleep with your mom’s best friend…but it does mean that we have to acknowledge that relationships are established through offering different degrees of intimacy to one another and that intimacy itself is a sexual reality at its core.
Sexuality manifests itself romantically and physically between partners. It is also evident in the relationships between family members, for example: the father/son relationship is sexual in that the son is learning about manhood from his father and the father is reconnecting with his inner-child through his son. This is a sexual reality but not a physical expression. You cannot get to a significant depth of relationship without opening yourself to intimacy and, once intimacy is found, you then have to actively choose how this will sexually affect this specific relationship (i.e. will the relationship be defined by physical affection, emotional affection, platonic or parental affection).
The pick-up art, the evangelist, and (as the Brafman’s would call them) the naturals all go through the same basic personal connection processes but are choosing different individuals to meet and different endpoints to move towards.
The best evangelists are often the best pick up artists. They have a magnetism to both sexes, they are emotionally astute, socially adept, humorous, positive, flirtatious, at times sexually ambiguous and creative in conversation. They draw things out of people quickly, establish instant rapport with new people, make fast friends and create comfortable and playful spaces.
It shouldn’t surprise us than that so many Evangelists are also the same men and women who get involved in extra marital affairs, sex scandals, addictions, and egotistical & narcissistic tendencies. They are geared up to feel intimacy quickly and powerfully, drawing that out of people and then having the a significant responsibility to direct how they will use this emerging sexual energy – it would be incredibly difficult not to take advantage of this.