How Many Drinks Away?

Given that this is New Years Eve I felt it appropriate to share a pearl of wisdom brought down from a lesbian friend of mine.

Recently I’ve been doing a survey of my friends and associates to try to figure out if women “pretending” (say at a party, a beach or possibly the PTA) to be lesbians is a common occurrence.  Once the idea of “pretending” came up a lesbian friend threw this bombshell into the mix:

I believe that all women are 1 drink away from being a lesbian.

This was a shocking discovery…yet, not something that I completely disagree with.  So, as any good researcher would do, I began trying to figure out the male correlation.  How many drinks away are guys from becoming gay?

My answer: 6.5 drinks.  This is generally the alcoholic beverage quota that puts many guys between “Hey Man,  I really love you” and “Fuck you man – you wanna fight”.  This is where you’ll find the tension between platonic love, aggression and the realization that you’re not too drunk to get it up but probably too drunk to land a good looking girl for the night.

Be careful tonight everyone!!  Happy New Years!

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