I come from a divorced home. My mother was married/divorced/remarried 4 times. My father was married/divorced/remarried 3 times. The first divorce (between my parents) was the only one that was significant to me but I was also very young.
Many of my friends were from divorced homes and despite the many divorces in my circle of friends it was never something that we talked about. It was “kinda” normal and something that just happens. I don’t remember hating my parents for failing or anything like that… it was just life.
Even as teenager – probably because my parents were both so fucked up – I was often cavalier about their divorce. After all, having twice the crazy in life would’ve definitely caused me to go over the deep end.
However – for whatever reason – I’ve been grieving divorces lately. Not my parents so much (although any good psychoanalyst would start there) but other peoples in my community. None of these people are particularly close to me… in fact, some I only know through rss feeds and their occasional posts. Yet… I’m grieving for them and their loss.
One of my greatest fears is divorce. There have been times when I wanted to get a divorce but my commitment to my spouse and my children kept me here. There have been times when my partner felt the same. There have been times when I couldn’t imagine life without my fluid-bonded life mate and the thought of someone losing that person in their life seems too painful to manage.
I don’t really know why I’m sharing this. My heart just goes out to anyone that is impacted by divorce. To their children and their families. Despite hiding behind humour I know the pain (in part) and I can empathize with the loss.